Here’s the thing: public speaking isn’t about delivering a perfect speech. It’s not about sounding smart or impressing the crowd with some fancy words. That’s the trap most people fall into—they think the goal is to “wow” the audience.
It’s not.
The Goal of Public Speaking
The ultimate goal of public speaking is simple: connection.
You’re not speaking to impress, you’re speaking to connect. To reach into the minds and hearts of the people in front of you. It’s not about you—it’s about them. It’s about making sure that when you step off that stage, someone out there feels a little different. A little more inspired. A little more understood.
Because the best speakers? They don’t just give you facts—they make you feel something. They make you see things from a new angle, feel understood, and push you to act. They don’t just give a speech; they create a moment that sticks with you.
And here’s the secret: connection isn’t about perfection. It’s about authenticity. It’s about being real, even if that means stumbling on a word or two. The audience doesn’t want a robot—they want a human. They want to know you care about what you’re saying. They want to know you’re speaking for them.
Think about the last time you heard a great speaker. Was it because they were flawless? Probably not. It was because they made you feel like they were speaking directly to you. That’s the ultimate goal. To make every person in that room feel like they’re part of the conversation.
So forget about perfection. Forget about impressing. The real goal of public speaking? Connection. Make people feel something, and they’ll never forget what you said.
Connection Over Perfection
Years ago, I was about to lead a “Good to Great” workshop for public school principals. It was a two-day program meant to inspire them to think bigger. Days before, I was warned by fellow consultants: “Be careful. These principals have excuses for everything. They’re tough, hard to engage, and most are ‘know-it-alls.’ Don’t get into debates with them.”
What my colleagues didn’t know? I had been a school teacher for 10 years. I was a product of the same public school system.
When the day came, I introduced myself, not as the expert, but as someone who’s walked in their shoes. I told them, “I’m not here to preach. We’re going to explore together how we can go from good to great. And we’ll do it by learning from each other.” Then, I shared something my grandfather used to say: “Kapag gusto, may paraan. Kapag ayaw, may dahilan.” (If you want something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.)
That line set the tone. Over the next two days, we didn’t just follow a textbook or a script. We dug into what we knew—public school education. We connected. And that connection? That’s what made the workshop powerful.
By the end, they gave me a perfect score. Not because I was the best speaker in the room. It wasn’t about my delivery or my slides. It was because we connected. We talked about real issues. We listened. We shared. We got on the same page.
That’s the ultimate goal of public speaking—to make people feel like they’re part of something. It’s not about being the most polished speaker or having the most knowledge. It’s about creating a moment where the room feels like everyone’s in it together.
When you connect with people, they don’t just hear you—they feel understood. That’s when public speaking moves from being a presentation to being a shared experience. And that’s the secret to going from good to great on stage.
Instantly Connect with Your Audience
Here’s the deal: public speaking isn’t about you. It’s about them. You want to connect? Then stop trying to sound smart. Forget about impressing the room. The goal is to make people feel like you’re speaking directly to them.
Here are three simple ways to do that:
1. Start With Them, Not You
Most speakers kick off by talking about themselves. Don’t. Your audience doesn’t care about your credentials or how great you are—they care about themselves. So, start there. Speak to their problems, their challenges.
Picture it: you’re in a room full of school principals, and instead of listing your resume, you say, “You all know how hard it is to balance running a school with endless meetings, budget cuts, and staff turnover. I’ve been there. But I’m here today to talk about how we can turn these challenges into opportunities.” Boom. Now they’re hooked because you’ve just made it about them.
Action: In your next meeting or presentation, ditch the long introduction. Start with a sentence that speaks directly to what your audience is feeling right now.
2. Tell a Story, Don’t Just Give Facts
Data doesn’t move people. Stories do. Think about it—when’s the last time a stat changed your life? Now, when’s the last time a story made you stop and think?
Imagine you’re explaining why perseverance matters in business. Instead of saying “80% of startups fail,” say, “When Airbnb started, they had no funding and couldn’t even afford rent. So, they started selling cereal boxes just to scrape by. The cereal boxes sold out. And today, that same company is worth $100 billion.” It’s relatable. It’s real. And it sticks.
Action: Find one story from your own experience, or something you’ve read, that illustrates your message. Use it next time you speak.
3. Be Present, Not Perfect
Forget about being flawless. The best speakers aren’t perfect—they’re present. They react to the room, they listen, they adjust. When you stumble on a word, don’t apologize—keep going. People don’t remember perfect speakers—they remember the ones who make them feel something.
Picture this: you’re in the middle of a presentation, and you see someone in the front row fidgeting. Instead of panicking, you throw them a question. “Hey, what do you think about this?” Suddenly, the whole room’s awake. You’ve turned a potential disaster into a connection.
Action: Next time you speak, focus less on being perfect. Stay in the moment. React to the room. Make eye contact. Smile.
Small Steps to Start This Week
It’s not just about what happens on stage—it’s about shifting how you think. Here are three small steps you can take this week to start thinking like a connector:
- Talk Less, Listen More
Great speakers are great listeners. The more you listen, the better you’ll understand what your audience needs. You’ll know their pain points, their fears, their hopes. And when you know that? Connecting is easy.
Action: In your next conversation, aim to listen twice as much as you talk. Really listen. You’ll be surprised how much people give away when you just let them speak.
- Practice Empathy
Connection starts with empathy. It’s about putting yourself in your audience’s shoes. What’s stressing them out right now? What’s the biggest challenge they’re facing? If you can feel what they feel, you’ll know exactly what to say to hit home.
Action: Before your next talk, take 5 minutes to imagine what your audience is thinking. What’s keeping them up at night? Tailor your message around that.
- Watch the Greats, But Stay Yourself
Yes, watch great speakers. Get inspired by them. But never try to be them. Authenticity is your secret weapon. The more “you” you are on stage, the stronger your connection will be. People don’t connect with perfect—they connect with real.
Action: Watch one TED talk this week. But when it’s your turn to speak, don’t try to copy it. Take what you’ve learned and make it yours. Speak like you.
Public speaking isn’t about delivering a perfect performance. It’s about connection. It’s about making people feel something, making them feel heard. The good news? You can start right now. This week. Don’t wait for the stage. Speak up in a meeting, share a story, listen more, and start shifting your mindset.
Remember: people won’t remember what you said, but they’ll remember how you made them feel. That’s connection. And that’s how you win the room.
