Declared values sound good, but your operating values run your week—so when pressure hits, you protect comfort or approval, and you quietly betray what you said matters. In this article, Jef Menguin shows the clean contrast between the values you say and the values you live, using your calendar and small moments as proof. Practice the shift and share it at work so your team stops performing values and starts turning them into visible rules.
Aisha sounded clear when she talked about herself.
“I value integrity.”
“I value excellence.”
“I value family.”
Then a normal workweek arrived and tested every word.
On Monday, her boss asked for a “quick update” for a client call. Aisha wasn’t ready, but she did not want to disappoint anyone. She said, “Give me an hour,” then rushed a deck that looked fine on the surface and weak underneath.
That night, she opened her laptop “just to finish one thing.” Her son stood beside her and asked if they could play. Aisha answered, “After this.” She meant it. She also knew she had said the same thing yesterday.
None of this made Aisha a bad person. It made her human.
It also revealed something important: the values you declare and the values you operate with can be different.
Two kinds of values run your life
Declared values are the values you believe in and want to represent. They sound like your best self. You can say them easily because they feel true.
Operating values are the values that show up in your behavior when pressure hits. They decide what you protect, what you delay, and what you compromise first.
This is why people feel stuck. They think the problem is motivation, discipline, or character. Often, the problem is simpler: they never translated declared values into something the week can actually follow.
A clean contrast you can recognize fast
Here’s the difference in a small, practical comparison.
| Area | Declared values (what you say) | Operating values (what you live) |
|---|---|---|
| Source | Identity and ideals | Reflexes under pressure |
| Proof | Words, beliefs, intentions | Calendar, decisions, habits |
| Weakness | Sounds good but stays vague | Works fast but can drift from what matters |
| Fix | Clarify what you mean | Turn values into visible rules |
If you have ever felt like you live two lives—one you believe in, and one you keep repeating—this table explains why.
Operating values show up in “small moments”
Most value conflicts do not happen in big moral dramas.
They happen in small moments: a late meeting request, a vague deadline, a hard message you avoid, a promise you make too quickly, a conversation you postpone because you feel tired.
Those moments feel minor, so we treat them as harmless. But they repeat, and repetition becomes your operating system.
Let me slow you down with a question that often changes how people see themselves:
What do you do automatically when you feel pressure—tell the truth, protect quality, protect relationships, protect comfort, or protect approval?
That answer points to your operating values.
Discover the Filipino values that shape how we work, lead, and live—beyond slogans and speeches. Get the Values Starter Kit. Read the series, choose one value to practice this week, and watch how small shifts create real change.
Example 1: Integrity
Aisha declared integrity. She believed it deeply.
But her operating value, especially during busy weeks, was peace. She avoided discomfort. She softened bad news. She delayed hard conversations. She sent updates that sounded safe instead of accurate.
Integrity does not mean you never make mistakes. It means you tell the truth early, correct quickly, and stop hiding behind vague words.
Here is the contrast that helps leaders and professionals act with clarity:
Declared integrity says: “I am honest.” Operating integrity says: “I give the real update within 24 hours.”
That one line changes behavior, especially when the stakes rise.
Example 2: Excellence
Aisha also declared excellence. She cared about quality and reputation.
But her operating value in many projects was speed. She wanted to look responsive. She replied fast. She joined every call. She solved problems for others before they even asked.
She stayed busy, but her best work suffered because she rarely protected deep focus.
Excellence is not intensity. Excellence is craft, attention, standards, and finishing.
Declared excellence says: “I care about quality.” Operating excellence says: “I define ‘done’ before I start, then I ship.”
This is where many professionals win: not by working harder, but by working with clearer standards.
Example 3: Family
Aisha declared family. She loved her child and wanted to be present.
But her operating value, especially at home, was availability to work. She treated work interruptions as urgent and family moments as flexible. She kept saying “later” because later felt harmless.
Then later became a pattern the household started to expect.
Family as a value does not show up in affection alone. It shows up in protected time and full attention.
Declared family says: “My family comes first.” Operating family says: “I protect two evenings a week and I close my laptop.”
That is not a slogan. That is a decision.
Why this gap happens, even to good people
People rarely choose to betray their values.
They drift because they never set rules, and the world around them keeps offering easy defaults: urgency, approval, speed, comfort, avoidance.
When you feel pressure, your brain reaches for what keeps you safe. If you never design a better default, your operating values will be shaped by fear more than by conviction.
So if you see a gap, do not label yourself a hypocrite.
Label it a signal.
The shift: turn values into visible rules
Do not try to “feel consistent.”
Build a small rule that forces consistency when pressure hits. A rule removes negotiation, and negotiation is where values quietly lose.
Start with one value and translate it into a rule you can practice this week:
- Integrity rule: “I tell the truth early, even when it is uncomfortable.”
- Excellence rule: “I protect a focused block before I accept new meetings.”
- Family rule: “I schedule two protected nights and I do not break them for work.”
Rules work because they are specific. You can see them, schedule them, and measure them.
A short audit you can do without overthinking
Pick your top three declared values.
Now answer these two questions for each value, based on last week—not your intentions:
- Where did I prove this value?
- Where did I contradict this value?
Do not explain yet. Just write evidence.
Then ask one more question that turns evidence into action:
What one rule would have prevented my biggest contradiction?
That rule becomes your next operating value.
When values collide, choose the one that keeps losing
Sometimes the gap is not hypocrisy. It is collision.
Excellence and family collide. Integrity and harmony collide. Growth and rest collide.
In those moments, guilt does not help. A decision rule helps.
Ask: Which value keeps losing in my real week? Then protect it for two weeks with one clear rule and one calendar block.
You are not abandoning the other values. You are stopping the slow starvation of the one that matters most.
Pause and reflect
If your calendar could speak, what would it say you worship?
And which value do you keep talking about, while protecting the least?
Your 24-hour move
Pick one declared value you care about.
Write one operating rule for it, then schedule one proof block next week so the rule has a home.
Your values will not change your life because you describe them well.
They will change your life when your week can follow them.
If you’re tired of knowing but not doing…
Let’s make one shift easier to live daily.
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