Jef Menguin » Personal Growth

Dare to Dream Bigger Dreams

Jef Menguin — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 16:15:43 +0000

Dare to dream dreams. Do not be afraid. Do not deny yourself that opportunity to change your life and make a difference in the lives of people simply because you fear failure. The real failures in life are those who dare not dream. The real failures in life regret not those which they did, but those which they did not attempt to do.

You can reach the sky. You can make your stairway to heaven. Close your eyes and you will see. Listen to silence, hear the whispers of your heart. And you will understand that which you do not hear, that which you do not see, that which you do not feel, that which you do not taste.

I heard people say that I boasted too much about my dreams. I described things which were impossible to do. Some of them refused to listen, understand, and follow. Until someone appeared and show why dreamweaving is not a bad thing at all. So, I listened to those who say that “it can’t be done” because I respected them. But I listen more to my heart. When my heart says it can be done, then it must be done. Something is impossible until someone makes it possible. Something us unreachable until someone reach it. Mount Everest is not simply there. Hundreds, I do not know the exact number, may be thousands have already said, “I am here”.

I am here now. Not yet that high. Not yet that significant for those who has achieved so much in life. But who cares. For those who did not move because they feared failures, I am miles and miles away. I have not yet reached the top of mountain, but certainly, I am getting there. I am have not yet finished my song, but I intend to finish it sweet and strong…

This is my story. And I like to know that someone have tried to show my the difference between possible is impossible are two letters: I and M. Impossible means I’m possible. I am possible. I am possible. I am possible.

I can be the best that I can be. I can be the best that I am. I am the best Jef Menguin there is. There are so many Albert Einsteins in the world. And maybe there are many Jef Menguins too. But this Jef Menguin in this corner will continue to aspire and inspire.

What about you? What do you aspire for? Whom do you want to inspire?

Remember that stress is an attitude

Jef Menguin — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 02:20:32 +0000

Yes, you read it right. Stress is an attitude. You can place two people in the same situation, and it is likely that two of them will react differently to the same situation or circumstance. William James once said, “it is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect it’s successful outcome.” Or unsuccessful outcome.

Most people are thermometers. Their poor attitude about life do not help them decide for themselves. They go with the typical patterns of the animal kingdom- reactive. Provide them the stimulus and they will response. Not really unlike Pavlov’s dog. Thermometer people are reactive. Unless they check their attitude, they will distressed for the rest of their lives.

Few people are thermostat. They have positive view of life. They see the big pictures that they are not easily “stressed” by the small things in life. They are not Pavlov’s dogs. Give them a situation. They may act at once, but you will notice that their actions are deliberate. Their actions are thoughtful and not just instincts. Typically thermostat people are peak performers. They are not afraid of stress. They see stress as necessary element to a happy and peaceful life.

Thermometers see tasks as problems. Thermostat people see them as challenges and opportunities. Both of them may experience the same level of stress. Thermometers react. Thermostat proact.

I invite you therefore to check your attitude when you are stressed. Those who do not pause, think, and pray are bound to regress to immature ways of handling stress. Many a home is destroyed because of poor attitude towards self, others, and life. Even the smallest challenge can be a very stressful situation for someone who is poor in attitude.

Renew your mind. Change your life today. Be happy for the rest of your life.

Jef Menguin

About: Jef Menguin facilitates stress management workshops in Metro Manila, Philippines. You may contact him through inspire@jefmenguin.com

Note: This entry is part of Jef Menguin’s project to write about 101 ways to cope with stress. Please feel free to share your thoughts below and share your stress management tips.

Stress management quotes for motivational speakers

Jef Menguin — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 13:31:24 +0000

Quotes are very powerful. Quotes simplify the meaning of life for us. Quotes challenges our way of thinking. Quotes inspire us.

Yesterday, I shared with you my favorite time management quotes that motivational speakers, managers, and leaders may use. My seminar with Imaginet, Inc today is successful. Tomorrow, I will be facilitating Stress for Success seminar for the same company.

This time, I like to share stress management quotes which motivational speakers, managers, leaders, and you can use. I will not really use these quotes tomorrow. During my workshops, I am more interested with what the workshop participants will say. And I quote them.

You may also share your favorite quotes. You can enrich a life today by simply sharing what you have, including a very short stress management quote.

Read the quotes below. When one stops you, read it, and then think how this particular quote can help make your life more enjoyable.

Ninety percent of what we worry about never happens, yet we worry and worry. What a horrible way to go through life! What a horrible thing to do to your colon! — Professor Leo F Buscaglia, teacher, writer and humanitarian, 1924-1998

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. — Albert Einstein

I learned this, at least, by my experiment;
that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams,
and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined,
he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. — Henry David Thoreau

I do the very best I know how – the very best I can;
and mean to keep doing so until the end.
If the end brings me out all right, what is said
against me won’t amount to anything.
If the end brings me out wrong, ten angels
swearing I was right would make no difference. — Abraham Lincoln

One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand:
one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life ,
there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it:
“Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you’d walk with me all the way
But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don’t understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.”

The Lord replied:
“My son, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you — Margaret Fishback

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain.
If I can ease one life the aching, or cool one pain,
or help one fainting robin unto his nest again
I shall not live in vain — Emily Dickinson

If you think you need to get it all done before you can be happy, consider that on the day you die, you will have email in your inbox. — Robert Holden

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one
thought over another. — William James

Much of the stress that people feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they’ve started. — David Allen

Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy,
healthy and rewarding life. — Marilu Henner

There are thousands of causes for stress, and one antidote to stress is self-expression. That’s what happens to me every day. My thoughts get off my chest, down my sleeves and onto my pad. — Garson Kanin

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, Begin it.
Live each day as if your life had just begun. — Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

It makes no sense to worry about things you have no control over because there’s nothing you can do about them, and why worry about things you do control? The activity of worrying keeps you immobilized. — Wayne Dyer

If your teeth are clenched and your fists are clenched, your lifespan is probably clenched. — Adabella Radici

Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live. — Margaret Fuller

Brain cells create ideas. Stress kills brain cells. Stress is not a good idea. — Frederick Saunders

In times of great stress or adversity, it’s always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive. — Lee Iacocca

Keep your sense of humor. There’s enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you’re supposed to enjoy. — Amy Alcott

When you find yourself stressed, ask yourself one question: Will this matter in 5 years from now? If yes, then do something about the situation. If no, then let it go. — Catherine Pulsifer

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. — Helen Keller

Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. — Marcus Aurelius

You can add some more quotes. Use the comment box below. Share your favorite stress management quote today.

time management quotes for motivational speakers

Jef Menguin — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 16:20:10 +0000

I will be conducting another Time of Your Life session tomorrow for Imaginet, Inc. While preparing for the time management seminar, I collected some quotes to help me reflect on the value of time. I have conducted many time management seminars before, but like everyone else, I also forget some ideas that I shared last month. Yes, even the ones that I have written before. This is why I believe that trainers, motivational speakers, and leaders must review their lessons every time they handle a group of people. We cannot always rely on our memory.

Also, I do not memorize these quotations. I do not even memorize my own words. But the power of quotations is immense. The real art really is to put in few words what some authors tried to explain in a 200 page book. I get a motivational or inspirational quote, reflect on it, dissect it, disassemble it, compare it with my flesh and blood experience, and then come up with my personal stories that highlight the message of the quote.

Sometimes, a quote is best left unexplained though.

Motivational speakers, team leaders, managers, and peak performers may benefit from these motivational quotations.

The list will be growing too. I encourage you to share your time management quotes. Let us enrich this page and help people make the most of their time.

You can contribute by other your favorite time management quotes in the comment form. Eventually, I will copy your quotes to make them visible in this page. Your time management quote do not have to be from dead people. Get some from your friends. Of course, you may also share your own. Yes, I suggest that you quote yourself too!

I shall tell you a great secret, my friend. Do not wait for the last judgement. It takes place every day. — Albert Camus, writer and philosopher, 1913-60, from ‘La Chute’, meaning ‘The Fall’, 1956

I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them. I shall use my time. — Jack London

Anything that is wasted effort represents wasted time. The best management of our time thus becomes linked inseparably with the best utilization of our efforts. — Ted W. Engstrom

If you have an hour, will you not improve that hour, instead of idling it away? — Lord Chesterfield

Determine never to be idle. No person will have occasion to complain of the want of time who never loses any. It is wonderful how much can be done if we are always doing. — Thomas Jefferson

Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of. — Benjamin Franklin

A man who dares to waste one hour of life has not discovered the value of life. — Charles Darwin

If you want to make good use of your time, you’ve got to know what’s most important and then give it all you’ve got. — Lee Iacocca

To do two things at once is to do neither. — Publius Syrus

The time for action is now. It’s never too late to do something. — Carl Sandburg

This is the beginning of a new day.
God has given me this day to use as I will.
I can waste it or use it for good.
What I do today is important, because
I am exchanging a day of my life for it.
When tomorrow comes,
this day will be gone forever,
leaving in its place something
that I have traded for it.
I want it to be gain, not loss;
good not evil; success not failure;
in order that I shall not regret
the price I paid for it. — Author Unknown

Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. — M. Scott Peck

You cannot kill time without injuring eternity. — Henry David Thoreau

Until we can manage time, we can manage nothing else. — Peter F. Drucker

A year from now you will wish you had started today. — Karen Lamb

While we are postponing, life speeds by. — Seneca

Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein. — H. Jackson Brown

In truth, people can generally make time for what they choose to do; it is not really the time but the will that is lacking. — Sir John Lubbock

Those who make the worse use of their time are the first to complain of its shortness. — Jean De La Bruyere

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you. — Carl Sandburg

Time stays long enough for those who use it. — Leonardo da Vinci

We realize our dilemma goes deeper than shortage of time; it is basically a problem of priorities. We confess, we have left undone those things that ought to have done; and we have done those things which we ought not to have done. — Charles E. Hummel

Time has no meaning in itself unless we choose to give it significance. — Leo Buscaglia

He who every morning plans the transaction of the day and follows out the plan, carries a thread that will guide him through the labyrinth of the most busy life. — Victor Hugo

It’s not enough to be busy, so are the ants. The question is, what are we busy about? — Henry David Thoreau

The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is. — C. S. Lewis

The swiftness of time is infinite, as is still more evident when we look back on the past. — Seneca

To comprehend a man’s life, it is necessary to know not merely what he does but also what he purposely leaves undone. There is a limit to the work that can be got out of a human body or a human brain, and he is a wise man who wastes no energy on pursuits for which he is not fitted; and he is till wiser who, from among the things that he can do well, chooses and resolutely follows the best. — John Hall Gladstone

Since time is the one immaterial object which we cannot influence — neither speed up nor slow down, add to nor diminish — it is an imponderably valuable gift. Each of us has a few minutes a day or a few hours a week which we could donate to an old folks home or a children’s hospital ward. The elderly whose pillows we plump or whose water pitchers we refill may or may not thank us for our gift, but the gift is upholding the foundation of the universe. — Maya Angelou

Live each day as if it be your last. — Marcus Aurelius, 140 AD

Hey, don’t forget to share your time management quotations here. And please leave your comments too!

What are your fears?

Jef Menguin — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 13:24:32 +0000

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature. – Anne Frank

What are you afraid of? How many of these fears control your life?

Achluophobia Fear of darkness.
Acousticophobia Fear of noise.
Acrophobia Fear of heights.
Agoraphobia Fear of open spaces or of being in crowded places.
Ailurophobia Fear of cats.
Alektorophobia Fear of chickens.
Alliumphobia Fear of garlic.
Allodoxaphobia Fear of opinions.
Altophobia Fear of heights.
Amaxophobia Fear of riding in a car.
Ambulophobia Fear of walking.
Ancraophobia or Anemophobia Fear of wind.
Androphobia Fear of men.
Anglophobia Fear of England, English culture, etc.
Anthrophobia Fear of flowers.
Antlophobia Fear of floods.
Anuptaphobia Fear of staying single.
Apeirophobia Fear of infinity.
Aphenphosmphobia Fear of being touched.
Apiphobia Fear of bees.
Apotemnophobia Fear of persons with amputations. Arachnephobia/Arachnophobia Fear of spiders.
Arithmophobia Fear of numbers.
Arrhenphobia Fear of men. Arsonphobia Fear of fire.
Astraphobia/Astrapophobia Fear of thunder and lightning.
Astrophobia Fear of stars/space.
Ataxophobia Fear of disorder or untidiness.
Atelophobia Fear of imperfection.
Athazagoraphobia Fear of being forgotton or ignored or forgetting.
Atychiphobia Fear of failure.
Aurophobia Fear of gold.
Automatonophobia Fear of ventriloquist’s dummies, animatronic creatures, wax statues
Automysophobia Fear of being dirty.
Autophobia Fear of being alone or of oneself.
Aviophobia/Aviatophobia Fear of flying.

Bacillophobia Fear of microbes.
Bacteriophobia Fear of bacteria.
Bathmophobia Fear of stairs or steep slopes.
Batophobia Fear of heights.
Batrachophobia Fear of amphibians (like frogs)
Belonephobia Fear of pins and needles.
Bibliophobia Fear of books.
Botanophobia Fear of plants.
Brontophobia Fear of thunder and lightning.

Cacophobia Fear of ugliness.
Cainophobia/Cainotophobia Fear of newness, novelty.
Caligynephobia Fear of beautiful women.
Carnophobia Fear of meat.
Catagelophobia Fear of being ridiculed.
Catoptrophobia Fear of mirrors.
Cenophobia / Centophobia Fear of new things or ideas.
Ceraunophobia Fear of thunder.
Chaetophobia Fear of hair.
Chionophobia Fear of snow.
Chiraptophobia Fear of being touched.
Chirophobia Fear of hands.
Chorophobia Fear of dancing.
Chrometophobia/Chrematophobia Fear of money.
Chromophobia/Chromatophobia Fear of colors.
Chronomentrophobia Fear of clocks.
Cibophobia/Sitophobia/Sitiophobia Fear of food.
Claustrophobia Fear of confined spaces.
Climacophobia Fear of stairs.
Clinophobia Fear of going to bed.
Coimetrophobia Fear of cemeteries.
Coulrophobia Fear of clowns.
Cyberphobia Fear of computers.
Cyclophobia Fear of bicycles.
Cymophobia Fear of waves.
Cynophobia Fear of dogs.

Demophobia Fear of crowds.
Dendrophobia Fear of trees.
Dentophobia Fear of dentists.
Didaskaleinophobia Fear of going to school.
Dipsophobia Fear of drinking.
Dishabiliophobia Fear of undressing in front of someone.
Dromophobia Fear of crossing streets.

Eisoptrophobia Fear of mirrors.
Elurophobia Fear of cats.
Emetophobia Fear of vomiting.
Entomophobia Fear of insects.
Ephebiphobia Fear of teenagers.
Epistaxiophobia Fear of nosebleeds.
Equinophobia Fear of horses.
Ergophobia Fear of work.

Felinophobia Fear of cats.

Gamophobia Fear of marriage.
Geliophobia Fear of laughter.
Genophobia Fear of sex.
Gephyrophobia, Gephydrophobia, or Gephysrophobia Fear of crossing bridges.
Gerascophobia Fear of growing old.
Glossophobia Fear of speaking in public or of trying to speak. Gynephobia/Gynophobia Fear of women.

Haphephobia/Haptephobia Fear of being touched.
Harpaxophobia Fear of being robbed.
Heliophobia Fear of the sun.
Hemophobia/Hemaphobia/Hematophobia Fear of blood.
Hierophobia Fear of priests or sacred things.
Hominophobia Fear of men.
Hylophobia Fear of forests.

Iatrophobia Fear of doctors.
Ichthyophobia Fear of fish.

Judeophobia Fear of Jews.

Keraunophobia Fear of thunder and lightning.
Kymophobia Fear of waves.

Lachanophobia Fear of vegetables.
Ligyrophobia Fear of loud noises.
Limnophobia Fear of lakes.
Liticaphobia Fear of lawsuits.
Lockiophobia Fear of childbirth.
Logizomechanophobia Fear of computers.
Logophobia Fear of words.
Lygophobia Fear of darkness.

Macrophobia Fear of long waits.
Mageirocophobia Fear of cooking.
Maieusiophobia Fear of childbirth.
Megalophobia Fear of large things.
Melissophobia Fear of bees.
Methyphobia Fear of alcohol.
Microphobia Fear of small things.
Misophobia Fear of being contaminated with dirt/germs.
Monophobia Fear of solitude or being alone.
Motorphobia Fear of automobiles.
Musophobia/Murophobia Fear of mice.

Necrophobia Fear of death / dead things.
Neophobia Fear of anything new.
Nosocomephobia Fear of hospitals.
Numerophobia Fear of numbers.

Ochlophobia Fear of crowds or mobs.
Ophidiophobia Fear of snakes.
Ophthalmophobia Fear of being stared at.
Ornithophobia Fear of birds.

Pedophobia Fear of children.
Peladophobia Fear of bald people.
Phasmophobia Fear of ghosts.
Placophobia Fear of tombstones.
Plutophobia Fear of wealth.
Pogonophobia Fear of beards.
Potamophobia Fear of rivers or running water.
Pteronophobia Fear of being tickled by feathers.
Pupaphobia fear of puppets.
Pyrophobia Fear of fire.

Rhytiphobia Fear of getting wrinkles.
Rupophobia Fear of dirt.

Scolionophobia Fear of school.
Selachophobia Fear of sharks.
Sesquipedalophobia Fear of long words.

Tachophobia Fear of speed.
Technophobia Fear of technology.
Telephonophobia Fear of telephones.
Testophobia Fear of taking tests.
Theophobia Fear of gods or religion.
Trypanophobia Fear of injections.

Venustraphobia Fear of beautiful women.
Verbophobia Fear of words.
Verminophobia Fear of germs.
Vestiphobia Fear of clothing.

Xenoglossophobia Fear of foreign languages.

Zoophobia Fear of animals

Do you want to keep your fears with you?

I got this from FDR, said in another context (Great Depression) but I believe something that we must also think about.

So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself — nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.

Leaders must speak with confidence

Jef Menguin — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 13:05:17 +0000

“There are three things to aim at in public speaking: first, to get into your subject, then to get your subject into yourself, and lastly, to get your subject into the heart of your audience”- Alexander Gregg

The ability to speak well does not ensure that you will become a great leader. It is still possible for a leader to inspire his people though he is not a good speaker. But it will be very difficult.

Like other leadership and management skills, speaking to groups is a matter of observing a simple set of rules. No one is naturally a brilliant speaker. Even professionals admit to being nervous. I know. I am always nervous though I’ve been speaking to groups since 1987. In fact, I will worry if I will not feel the “nervousness” before and during the speaking situation.

But there are managers, and leaders like you, who avoid speaking situations. They find themselves ill-equip to speak. This people went to college and even took post graduate studies. But when it comes to speaking before groups, a kid from kindergarten will show more courage. So, here are some practical tips for all of those who are trusted to speak before groups.

Your purpose is more important than what you feel. Do not allow nervousness to prevent you from addressing your team. It is an important part of role as leader and you must learn to feel less nervous and be content to speak at larger gatherings. I tell you, most of them are afraid to speak too. They will be thankful that you have the courage to share with them what they need to hear.
Plan with IPSQC. This is a very simple method your teachers taught you when you were in fourth grade. Of course they did not have a name for this. But try this method.
1. Introducing to gain the group’s attention and interest,
2. Presenting to show your main points.
3. Summary covering the main points briefly again,
4. invite Questions and
5. end with a Conclusion, pointing the way a head ending on a high note, and sending the audience away fired up.
Use cards for your notes. In Toastmasters we are encourage not to use any notes. But there people who are very effective when they have cue cards. Index cards are ideal, and should be easily readable at arm’s length. Use headings and a sequence of ideas under each, and number the cards in case you drop them. Remember to write in big letters.
What’s In It For Them? Explain in your introduction the relevance of the subject to your audience, the sequence of the talk and whether they should ask questions during the talk or the end of your presentation. Tell them whether you will be giving out printed notes so they know whether to make their own. It is my style to give them handouts during my presentation. Most learners are kinesthetic. Allowing them to write will make them remember and process better my presentations.
Practice with real audience. Always rehearse talks aloud including the presentation that you make to colleagues on special occasions. Giving them wedding presents, long-service awards and so on. As you career progresses, ‘saying a few words’ will become a regular and enjoyable duty. I really encourage people to practice with real people not with mirrors. Mirrors do not react. What you see is yourself at your most awkward moment. Of course, you may present if front of your dogs and cats, but they will not be able to give you valuable feedback.
Shorter speeches are usually better. Do not let your speech overrun, especially if yours is one of the number of presentations at a conference or company meeting. It is more courteous to take up slightly less than your allocated time. Your rehearsal will tell you how much material to discard. To overcome gaps, you could send reading material in advance. Take this from me, your first role as a communicator-leader is to illuminate the essentials.
Help their eyes. Use visuals to make the presentation more interesting and to express your message. If you are using videos have them made professionally. People are accustomed to high standards and anything less will detract from the presentation. It does not have to be expensive though. I bough a Flip Video which is really great and I edit my videos using Moviemaker.
Mind your posture. Do not put your notes on a table and lean over them- your voice will be directed downwards. Use the lectern. The lectern, of course, has a greater use than a paper holder. We can talk about that next time.
Be careful with your hands because it may say something your mouth do not utter. Many speakers do not know what to do with their hands. Do not put them in your pockets, behind your back or cross your arms. Let them be on your sides. As your confidence grows you will begin to use gestures naturally to support what you are saying. I find hand gestures as one of the best visual aids. During my seminars, I asked people to explain in gibberish what they did for the day. They find that they are forced to use gestures. Manage your hand movements.
Project your voice to fill the room. But do not shout. Assume that someone in the back may not hear your word. Keep your head up, breath at punctuation marks and do not rush. During your practice sessions, ask your friends to spread themselves in the room. You will get an idea on how loud or soft your voice is.
Silence is okay. Some speakers are afraid to pause. They do not want the audience to think that they have forgotten their speech. Listen. Use silences to emphasize points of particular importance. Silence is a gift to your audience. You are giving them the opportunity to think. Silence is also your gift to yourself. Silence allows you to listen to your audience. Just try it next time. I am sure you will find this one tip useful.
Go to school with the winners. Watch expert orators. You might not agree with their views but you can learn their techniques. I like watching Joyce Meyer. I love Ellen DeGeneres for she has her unique way of connecting with the audience. And of course, I like the fact that she gives a lot. I used that method in my seminars here in the Philippines. I give something even before I start. Energy fills the room. Amazing.
Do not rehearse hand movements. If they are not spontaneous they look odd. If you are not naturally animated, use your voice and visual for emphasis. Let me tell you the secret. Focus on your audience. Observe how they react to what you say. Emphasize points with your voice. You will find your hands following your intentions.
Make eye contact with as many members of the group as possible. Beware of homing on a person who is showing tremendous enthusiasm for what you are saying. Speak to everyone. Do not move your eyes from person to person in a set pattern- let them focus on people even with huge gatherings. The last time you saw a big star live on stage, didn’t you feel him or her make eye contact with you? Some toastmasters suggest you use the Z pattern. Do not follow that advice. You are not an electric fan.
Blocking is essential. Place yourself in your audience’s point of view. They read from left to right. If you use a flip-chart stand it to your left. And if you are not experienced at using one, practice. Use large writing, simple illustrations and color to add interest. You must also use the same blocking position when you are using PowerPoint presentations. In some companies, they placed the white canvass at the center. Forgive them. That’s what they in the cinemas. Of course, that is because people go to cinemas to watch movies, not to listen to speakers. When you are the speaker, remember that you are the focal point.
You are a visual aid too. Pay careful attention to your appearance. If you look good you will feel more confident. This is always important but especially so if it is your own staff you are addressing. I saw this one video where Leo Buscaglia told the audience that he was wearing his new suit because he respected his audience.
It is okay to say thank you. Bring speeches to a close, thank your audience for their attention and sit down unhesitating. Even when making an impromptu speech, perhaps to propose a vote of thanks, don’t ramble or talk until you run out of ideas. Keep it brief and to the point. The last impression is the lasting impression.
End with your message. Most people will remember the last words you have said. Craft your conclusion in such a maner that even those whose minds were absent during your speech may still get your point at the end.

I hope that you will try these 18 simple and practical tips. As a leader, people expect you to articulate the vision and mission of the group. I believe that meetings, conferences, and learning sessions are great opportunities for the leaders to articulate the direction and destiny of the organization.

Make the most of every speaking opportunity. Improve your speaking skills every time you speak before groups. Remember, not every one is given the opportunity to lead, and not every one is given the right to speak.

Jef Menguin

About the Author: Jef Menguin is a Filipino motivational speaker and training consultant. He has been helping leaders develop their public speaking and presentation skills. He conducts Speak with Confidence workshops all over the Philippines. To learn more about Jef Menguin and his passion to help people live with confidence, visit http://jefmenguin.com today.

What are the simplest and most effective ways to manage the stress in your life?

Jef Menguin — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 18:31:08 +0000

This is a simple contest. All you need to do is to share your tips on stress management. I am pretty sure that you have secrets which can help people live happier and more productive lives.

You can give the simplest tips. But I also encourage creative and not-so-common ideas. You can even build on ideas put forward by others. In this contest, quantity and quality are both considered. You can keep on coming back.

This contest will be for the months of February and March. There will be one winner for February and another winner for March. Of course, the winner for the month of February may keep on contributing tips. It is good for one’s soul to keep on giving.

What’s the prize?

I saw two good books in Powerbooks. I will be giving these two books to the winners. The first winner will get the right to pick her or his choice.

Who will pick the winners?

Me and my team.

And how will you submit your tips? Simply use the comment form below.

(Note: Though there are wonderful ideas we can borrow from the Net, I believe that the most wonderful ideas will still come from you.)

You will find some of these tips useful. Remember, you may still add your own stress management tips.

from Dianne Margaret Roldan:

1. Start the day with a smile and think of something that will make you happy.

from Claudine Motto

2. Taking TRUE breaks. What makes a break break “true” is one without any of the things that can potentially be a source of stress – technology, email, or task lists. A break is “true” when you’ve disconnected and relaxed, laughed, or did something physical and stopped thinking about the stressors in your life/work. The key is to take these breaks regularly, even if for 15 minutes.

from Marjee Marasigan

3. Welcome every experience and give thanks.

from Deedee Espina

4. I watch what I eat, watch what I watch, watch what I listen to, watch what I think, and watch what I do, so I don’t reach that saturation point.

from Ed Ebreo

5. Know yourself, know your values and align your action. no matter how hard the work is, you will never feel stressed

from Ann Saturno

6. Check some funny notes here in the Internet. That’s my way to take away stress.

7. I have a jar of little notes here on my desk… i wrote down at least 100 notes which says “do it with ease and grace”, “smile! you’re being seen on the office camera”, “say a little prayer”… things like those…

8. I always try to look up at the blue skies and say, “Thank God.”

from Eugene Ong

9. One way of managing stress for me is by participating in activities that will take your mind of whatever is causing you stress. These activities may include going to the gym, sports or other recreational activities. Not only will you keep yourself physically healthy but it is a great way of developing channels for stress. For a lot of people it will take a lot of diligence and determination to get this done, but I believe most people who are willing to invest their time and energy will find the hard work needed very rewarding.

from Aedesa Robles

10. Refrain from thinking negative thoughts. Keeping a positive outlook not only makes someone’s day sunnier, so is everyone else’s. (A smile is contagious, right?)

11. Listen to music. (Not the grunge type!) It relaxes one’s mind, easing the stress and negativity away.

12. God said, if you think the Mona Lisa is wonderful, wait till you see my masterpiece… in the mirror. Look yourself in the mirror and be thankful for God’s most wonderful creation!

13. Look at the person beside you. Find something good or praiseworthy about him, be it his nice shirt, gorgeous smile or even the small things he does to make your office (or home) life easier. If you haven’t said anything nice to him lately, now’s your chance!

14. Think of the all good things you have in your life. Say “Thank You ” (better if spoken aloud… but not too much!) for EACH of them. Be it the sumptuous lunch you had with a friend, the beautiful top you just bought for half the price, or even the good bonds you have with your family and friends. I bet by the time you’re done, you’ve already forgotten how bad and cumbersome your day had been. (Most probably, all the lights will be out by that time, too.)

15. And as they say, prevention is better than cure. If you always find yourself stressed and in a bad mood, it is best to keep a “Thank You” journal wherein, at the end of the day, you ought to write at least three good things that happened to you on that particular day. Whenever you feel bad or burnt out, just take it out and read the things you have jotted down. That oughta put a smile back to your face! (It will also keep you from counting [your blessings] until the lights go out.. tee hee)

16. Always smile and think of happy thoughts. Remember, happiness is the best makeup!

17. Lastly, affirm and say aloud perhaps the best mantra in the world: “I WILL GREET THIS DAY WITH LOVE IN MY HEART”.

from Patricia Pascua

18. I keep myself stress-free just by thinking: 1) All there is is just data and information–no meaning, no interpretations and

19. there is only NOW, no more past (dead and gone) and no future ever (you create or even drastically alter your future NOW). Thinking this way is not easy and I still struggle much in my own quest for mastery.

from Gigi Ricafort

20. Balance your life.
Everyday we have to get up early, take a bath, eat breakfast and off we go to our offices. It’s a routine and work will surely eat us up if we continue to work and work even when it’s time to rest. Balance everything from work to leisure to rest. Try to leave your work in your workplace. Set your weekend for the family or if you are living alone, you try to set your weekend for recreation. In this way, you make your life balance. Remember that “always work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”.

21. Learn to say “NO”

Most of our stress comes from our workplace where we need to mingle and socialize with our colleagues and we tend to please them by complying every request they ask. I have been like this during my first 3 years of work and it didn’t help me instead it didn’t draw the best in me. It even made my tasks stressful ones because I had to complete them one after the other with speed regardless of quality. So, at the end of the day, I hadn’t really done a single job well which will flash back during the night before going to sleep. And what’s worst? It gave me nightmares. So, better start saying “NO” now or you’d be taunted by stress even when you are asleep.

22. Learn to express happiness. Do laugh for goodness’ sake.

Laughing is automatic when you feel happy. The question now is, ” How can we smile if we are stressed?” Simple, wen you think that you have been eaten up by work and by problems, relax, close your eyes for few minutes and think of the funniest thing you’ve experienced. Start laughing out loud even if you sound silly. After all, it’s not the people around you who will benefit from it. It’s you.

23. Exercise… Don’t be too lazy to just lie down and wait for your food to be served.

We tend to think of our work and problems if we are not occupied which means, if we just lie down like a slug. Do some recreational activities. You can jog and listen to music while doing it. I am pretty sure you’ll start thinking of better things.

24. Attend to your own needs.

You are responsible of your own safety. Most often, we attend others’ needs first before our own needs. Will we stop being hypocrites for once? We knew even from birth that we have individual needs. Attend to it. Don’t try to be a fool asking somebody to do it for you…. It’ll only give you more stress.

from prussianblue
25. The steps I take so I would not be stressed.
a. I determine what are important to me.
b. I then prioritize.
c. Then I make a plan.. for each if necessary. The plan may include the strategies, step-by-step procedure, targets, time lines/dead lines. responsible, budget, checklist etc.
d. If I can lead some people then, I choose people whom I can trust for the project…

26. Relationships are important so, if possible, I make allowances to accommodate requests of some people… to help those who are in need… especially those we do not know how to plan… do not know what to do, etc. That is, things that are important and/or urgent for others. But of course, I can opt to say no if saying no is more beneficial…

27. I request God’s help… to help me be optimistic, to make some people kinder, help me do the work and meet the deadlines, etc.

28. Stress is lessened if you know what you want/need.. if you have a plan… if you know what you will do… if you know how you will do it… if you know the status… if you know the potential problem or the problem… if you do not know how to do it, who can help you achieve your objectives… etc.

29. When you are with a team, it is best to know the problem or potential problem immediately, before the problem escalates… to solve problems with your team and let your teammates commit based on their capacities / abilities instead of forcing them to commit something they are not capable of doing etc.

from Jonathan Bobon

30. Play Jigsaw Puzzle

31.. Paint

32. Sing

33. Count 1 to 30

34. Say the following,” the grass is green, the sun is warm.”

35. Pray, talk to Bro.

36. Relax in the woods, parks, or peaceful place.

37. Voice out the pain.

38. Talk to a friend.

39. Write down things.

40. Think positive.

41. Believe in yourself.

42. Listen to soft music.

from Roselle Legaspi

43. Give yourself a break! Out of town trips. Hiking. Swimming. Sky diving.

44. Eat your favorite foods. (pizza, pasta, lechon, etc)

from Cherry Tuasy

45. Set clear priorities on everything before you begin.

46. Make a plan, schedule, and organize.

from Roque Ipanag

47. Try any of the following: relaxation, sex, self reflection, exercise, respiratory gymnastics, autogenic training, stress balls, and meditation.

from Michelle dela Cruz

48. Focus and think on how you can handle your stress. Try to be advance to see the outcome of your actions on handling stress.

49. If you reach the critical level of stress, just pause in a while and make short prayer, then after that take a deep breath and face your problems.

from Raymond Paul Bonoan
50. Don’t try to be superhuman. Set limitations on what you can do and reward yourself from time to time.

51. Remember: stress is overrated.

How to Choose the right words to say?

Jef Menguin — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 14:26:40 +0000

Words are powerful. You can put people down or lift people up through your words. You can obfuscate or illuminate ideas through your words. You can demotivate people or move them to actions through your words. Words have the power to create and the power to destroy.

Words are not just the combination of sounds that comes out from your mouth. I agree that some speakers are very good in concocting words; some are fast talking machines mouthing words they do not believe in. Some of these words are like bullets that kill even the innocent ones. Most of their words make you feel small and unimportant; maybe because you are not important to them.

So you asked, how to choose the right words? I have three answers. Let me answer first like a salesperson. Before you think about words, be clear first about your objectives. Most likely your objective is to make a sale. But maybe, there are immediate objectives like making people listen to you first and to consider your proposition. Because you want to get their attention, you must use words that appeal to them. If you have already qualified your prospect, you must have known what interest him. Is he interested with more money, or having a happy family, or prestige or the all of these? The right words to your audience are the words they want to hear.

How to choose the right words? The teacher in me will give you this answer. Understand how people learn. Some people are visual learners. Therefore you must color your words. Look for descriptive and vivid words that will make your listeners see your idea. Instead of saying flower, you can be more specific, say three red radiant roses saying “I love you”. There are people who are auditory learners. Use words they can hear. Make your snakes hiss and your goats meeeeeeee. This is easier because people don’t just read you, they can hear you as you produce the sounds. Don’t just say “ he shouted”, instead shout the words (but not too loud!). For the kinesthetic learners, you need to use movement. Grab your dictionary or your thesaurus now. You will find many synonyms of the word “walk”. When you speak, choose the words that describe how the person walks. Of course, you also have to consider the vocabulary of your audience. Understand that some people have only one word for many things, and I am afraid they will understand your one word in many ways. The right words to your audience are the words they understand.

How to choose the right words? Don’t trouble yourself first with your words. I challenge you to examine your heart first. Your mouth speaks the desires of your heart. You can make an effort to “choose” the words that comes out from your mouth, but you cannot control the meanings that comes out from your heart. Do you store poison in your heart? Your words contain vitriols. Your jokes do not just entertain, they kill people slowly. People will laugh, but their souls die slowly. Do you wonder why people go to comedy bars? They laugh while the entertainers called comedians put someone down. And then they will bring with them the same jokes that they have heard.

Do you store love in your heart? Then your words will speak of love.

Do your store wisdom in your heart? Then your words will be made of wisdom.

Do you story faith in your heart? Then your words will be filled with hope.

Do you story charity in your heart? Then your words will lift up people and move your feet to action.

What do you have in your heart? Choose what you place in your heart and your words will speak your meanings. Your heart cannot lie. The right words to your audience, to any kind of audience, are the words that says “ I care” and I speak to you now because I love you.

How to be convincing?

Jef Menguin — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 13:11:00 +0000

Ask yourself, “what will convince me?” Speaking is selling. Have you already possessed the message, the product, or services that you offer? Most people missed this one. They thought that to be convincing one must become a very dynamic speaker. One who has mastered the 1001 ways of closing a sale. All is not about salestalk. To be convincing you have to be totally, completely, 101 percent believer of your product.

You come to me and said that I must buy my own car. But I look at you and you don’t even know how to drive. Please don’t tell me how comfortable it is to drive that car.

You come to me and show me the best way to manage people, but you cannot even manage your own presentations. Excuse me. You are not credible. Convince me at the very least that you walk the talk.

Another way to be convincing is to make sure that I really need your product.

You come to me and said that working with you will give me the opportunity to travel around the world, own big houses, and that will live only through my passive income. Excuse me, I do not dream of travelling around the world, I do not need to own big houses, and I have no problem working because I love what I do. And I do not care if you have them all.

It will be very difficult for you to convince a person to buy a product he or she does not believe she needs. So, if you want to be convincing you must get affirmative answers to these questions:

a. Am I fully convinced about the products and services that I offer that I will buy them even if the price will be doubled? Be convinced first. You better be passionate about your messages, products, or services before you offer them to others.

b. Do I truly believe that my messages, products, or services will add value to the life of my audience? Sometimes, you will find me seeking for your message. You better drive your point quickly. But there are times that I do not know that I need what you offer. Please educate me first. Show me that the money, time, and effort that I will give is just a small portion of the real value that your messages, products, or services.

Every page is a home page

Jef Menguin — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 01:07:28 +0000

You cannot tell your website visitors or the search robots to enter a specific door called homepage. Every page of your website is a homepage. You must show your best in every page.

A week before 2010, I decided to give my website a facial makeover. I bought a new set of templates so that someone like me who does not know php and CSS can create a website that I personally like. As you know by now, I have decided not just to do a facial makeover. The content must be changed too. Or to put it correctly, since I have decided to change the content (and context), I must also change the design. Form follows substance.

This website therefore is now evolving. My community, and that may include your Mr and Ms Readers, will join me in inspiring people & building organizations.

So when I decided to change this website, I needed to deactivate my branford template. I tell you, that template is so nice (and free!) I had doubts whether I made the right decision. When I deactivated the Brandford template I was left with an ugly layout and was forced to make my blog page as the front page. Of course, Wordpress can make you choose whether you want to make your blog or any of your static page your front page (or home page). It was during this choosing and deciding that I realized that there was no one page I can call a homepage. But I must choose the best one to at least show that Jef Menguin is a professional and have something good services to offer. So I chose Five Star Teamwork workshop page. But I thought that was not good. There was no contact number and the customization of the page is not yet complete. Then I picked Customer Service Excellence page for a day. But it was not an improvement of the first. These two pages do not show what I do or who I am.

These made me very eager to finish my homepage. But then while I was writing on my 43things, it dawned on me that I was not getting it right. Every page should really be a front page. I cannot make one page the best out of so many pages and posts ( I have 298 published posts as of this writing). Google will certainly bring you to the most relevant page or post in this website and only you and your keywords will determine which of the public page and post you will land.

In life, the same is true.

We have so many roles and so many faces. We have varied ways of communicating with people. This is what I feel particularly about myself. I do not really like dressing up because I believe that the suit does not make a man, it is his character. But then I go to conference and speak before people wearing my best dress. And on other occasions, wear something like I am just confined to my room (many thanks to Mahatma Gandhi and Warren Buffet!) I do not dress to impress people. I wear that which I am comfortable. There is nothing wrong with that.

But viewing the pages I have just mentioned again, I thought that I missed an important point. It is still true that who we are is more important than our outward appearances. I say that I am very comfortable with who I am. I am changing but that’s only because I am growing. But I am not certain of the impressions I create when I am not wearing my best.

Back to the webpage. The design of a page does not make the pages relevant. But it tells you something about me. And I cannot fault you if you will think that I am a man of poor taste. You make a decision based on which page you are in. My web stats show that most visitors do not land on the front page. People land on any page. Some pages have relevant post; some do not. Some pages have good photographs; some pages do not. Some pages do have contact numbers, some pages do not. I cannot make a good impressions on you by making an impressive homepage. I must make my every page a front page.

What you wear does not make you who you are. But it shows who you are. People interpret us based on the available information we give them- our outward appearances, the way we speak, the quality of our voice, our gestures and facial expressions, and even our choice of words. We must not ignore these for they cannot go directly to our hearts to know who we really are.

Every page is a front page. Every moment that I have is a moment to show who I really am.

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About the blogger. Jef Menguin is a professional speaker in the Philippines. He is also a training consultant in the areas of personal development, leadership, and communication. Email him through inspire@jefmenguin.com or contact him through the form you can find in http://jefmenguin.com