The fastest way to change culture isn’t with new posters, polished slogans, or another all-hands announcement.
It’s by rewriting the invisible rules people already follow.
Because here’s the truth: every workplace runs on two rulebooks. The official one—full of policies, guidelines, and handbooks. And the unwritten one—full of silent agreements, unspoken expectations, and habits nobody questions.
Guess which one people really follow?
That’s why spotting and shifting unwritten rules is the real work of culture. Do it well, and your organization can move faster, trust deeper, and innovate bolder. Ignore it, and no handbook in the world will save you.
A Quick Recap of This Series
This is the fourth and final article in the Unwritten Rules in HR series. If you’ve been following along:
- In Article 1, we unpacked What Are Unwritten Rules (and Why They’re Dangerous).
- In Article 2, we surfaced the 10 Unwritten HR Rules That Hold Companies Back.
- In Article 3, we explored The Unwritten Rules Leaders Teach Without Saying a Word.
And now, in this article, we’ll put it all together—how you can spot, name, and flip the rules shaping your workplace culture today.
Why Spotting the Invisible Rules Matters
Imagine a company rolling out a shiny new performance management system. The policies look great. The training is well-designed. But the unwritten rule is: “Feedback only happens once a year.”
Guess what happens? The new system fails. Managers use it once, then fall back into silence. Employees feel blindsided. And the organization wonders why nothing changed.
That’s why unwritten rules matter: they undermine good strategies, block new initiatives, and quietly keep companies stuck.
Spot them, and you hold the key to real change.
How to Spot Unwritten Rules: The 4 Lenses
Unwritten rules don’t introduce themselves. You have to look for them. Here are four lenses that make them visible.
1. Listen to the Jokes
Workplace humor often reveals the hidden truth.
- Joke: “Don’t send the boss bad news on a Friday.”
- Translation: We reward avoiding problems, not addressing them.
2. Watch the Newcomers
New employees learn the rules faster than anyone. Pay attention to what they ask or struggle with.
- If they ask, “Is it okay to leave before the boss?”—that’s a sign of an unwritten rule about hours.
3. Track the Silences
What do people avoid saying in meetings? Silence is often where the rule lives.
- Example: Nobody questions the leader’s plan, even when it’s flawed. Rule: “Don’t contradict the boss.”
4. Follow the Frustrations
Ask: “What frustrates people here the most?” Often, it’s an unwritten rule blocking progress.
- Frustration: “We can’t try new ideas without ten approvals.” Rule: “Innovation must wait for permission.”
The Rule-Breaker Framework
Once you’ve spotted a rule, how do you flip it? That’s where the Rule-Breaker Framework comes in.
Step 1: Name It. Write the rule in plain language. “Promotion is for loyalty, not performance.”
Step 2: Story It. Recall a moment when this rule showed up. “Our best performer quit after being passed over.”
Step 3: Flip It. Ask: What’s the healthier opposite? → “Reward outcomes, not just tenure.”
Step 4: Anchor It. Turn the flip into an action or ritual. “At every promotion review, present clear performance evidence.”
Step 5: Embed It. Celebrate and repeat until it becomes normal. “Leaders publicly share why promotions were based on impact.”
👉 Quick version: Name it → Story it → Flip it → Anchor it → Embed it.
Examples of Spotting and Flipping Rules
Let’s make this practical with more examples.
Example 1: The Meeting Rule
- Unwritten Rule: “The boss always speaks first.”
- Impact: Everyone else stays quiet or aligns with the boss.
- Flip: Boss speaks last. Meetings start with the team’s input before the leader weighs in.
- Result: Richer discussions, bolder ideas, better decisions.
Example 2: The Work Hours Rule
- Unwritten Rule: “Don’t leave until your boss leaves.”
- Impact: People waste time, stay late for appearances, and burn out.
- Flip: Judge performance by results, not by face time.
- Result: Employees leave on time without guilt, while productivity rises.
Example 3: The Mistake Rule
- Unwritten Rule: “Mistakes must be hidden.”
- Impact: Problems are covered up until they explode. Learning never happens.
- Flip: Normalize learning from mistakes. Leaders share their own failures.
- Result: People speak up earlier, problems are solved faster, and innovation grows.
Example 4: The Promotion Rule
- Unwritten Rule: “Loyalty beats performance.”
- Impact: High performers leave, mediocrity stays.
- Flip: Reward results and impact over tenure.
- Result: Talent stays motivated, culture lifts.
Example 5: The Feedback Rule
- Unwritten Rule: “Feedback only happens during annual reviews.”
- Impact: Employees are blindsided, growth stalls.
- Flip: Feedback happens at the moments that matter most.
- Result: People improve faster and feel seen every week, not once a year.
Table: Common Rules and Their Shifts
| Unwritten Rule | Flip the Rule | Why It Matters |
|---|---|---|
| Boss speaks first | Boss speaks last | Unlocks honest input |
| Don’t leave before boss | Results > hours | Ends burnout culture |
| Mistakes must be hidden | Mistakes = learning | Fuels innovation |
| Loyalty > performance | Reward outcomes | Keeps top talent |
| Feedback = annual only | Feedback in the moment | Drives growth |
FAQs About Spotting and Shifting Rules
Isn’t this just another word for culture?
Unwritten rules are the building blocks of culture. Culture is the forest; rules are the trees. Change the rules, and the culture follows.
What if leaders reinforce the old rules?
Start small. Flip one rule in your own team. Visible results spread faster than memos. Leaders notice when something works.
Can frontline employees shift rules?
Yes. Some of the most powerful flips I’ve seen began with staff who started new rituals—like ending meetings with “wins and thanks.” Leaders adopted them because they worked.
How long does it take to flip a rule?
It depends. Some flips spread in weeks (like bosses speaking last). Others take months. But once people see a better way, they rarely go back.
Building Trust Through Transparency
For twenty years, I’ve worked with HR leaders, managers, and teams across the Philippines and Southeast Asia. I’ve seen shiny programs fail because of invisible rules. And I’ve seen ordinary teams transform when they broke just one.
That’s why I believe the most powerful culture work isn’t about adding more rules. It’s about surfacing the ones already there—and choosing better ones together.
When employees see leaders acknowledge these hidden rules, trust grows. When they see action to flip them, commitment follows. That’s how real culture change happens.
Breaking the Rules, Building the Shift
This series has been about making the invisible visible:
- Article 1: What Are Unwritten Rules (and Why They’re Dangerous)
- Article 2: 10 Unwritten HR Rules That Hold Companies Back
- Article 3: The Unwritten Rules Leaders Teach Without Saying a Word
And now, with this final article, you have a practical way to spot and shift the rules shaping your workplace right now.
So here’s my challenge: At your next meeting, ask your team:
👉 “What’s one unwritten rule we follow here—and what could we replace it with?”
That one question could be the start of a cultural breakthrough.
Next Steps
👉 Download the Rule-Breakers Kit — with worksheets and prompts to help your team spot and flip unwritten rules.
👉 Explore our Team Bayanihan workshops — where we design experiences that surface hidden rules and turn them into daily shifts.
Because culture doesn’t change with posters. It changes when the invisible rules get rewritten.
