Overthinking turns simple tasks into heavy ones—one email takes an hour, one decision drags for days, and your courage quietly drains. In this article, Jef Menguin shows how one question breaks the loop and helps you act before you feel ready. Apply it today and share it with your managers so meetings stop looping and action becomes easier.
Mara was still at her desk at 7:12 PM.
Not because she had more work. Because she had one email she couldn’t send.
It was a simple update to her boss. Two short paragraphs. One clear request. But she rewrote it again and again, like she was trying to remove every possible misunderstanding from the universe.
Too direct. Too weak. Too long. Too cold.
So she kept polishing. And the longer she stayed, the heavier the email became.
She messaged a friend and said, “I’m stuck. I keep thinking about it.”
Her friend replied with one question:
“What’s the next honest step?”
Mara stopped typing. For the first time that day, her mind got quiet.
The Spin Cycle Problem
Overthinking feels like progress because you’re busy.
You’re reviewing. You’re preparing. You’re imagining scenarios. You’re trying to “be responsible.” It looks like work. It feels like work.
But it’s not movement.
It’s a loop.
And loops don’t create clarity. They create exhaustion.
The Perfect Step Lie
Under the loop is a belief most people don’t admit out loud:
There is a perfect next step. I just haven’t found it yet.
That’s why you keep rewriting the message. That’s why you keep replaying the conversation. That’s why you keep asking people what they would do—then still not doing anything.
You’re not really looking for direction. You’re looking for a step with zero consequences.
That step doesn’t exist.
The Turning Point Question
“What’s the next honest step?”
That question works because it doesn’t ask you to solve your whole life.
It asks you to stop pretending your next move is a final verdict on your intelligence.
It pulls you out of the fog and back into reality.
Mara realized she wasn’t editing the email.
She was editing her courage.
The Identity Shift: From Performer to Learner
Overthinkers are usually trying to protect an identity.
The competent one. The careful one. The leader who doesn’t make mistakes. The employee who never sounds stupid.
So they delay action until they feel “ready.”
You’re not a performer trying to avoid errors.
You’re a learner building judgment through motion.
A learner doesn’t need a perfect step.
A learner needs an honest step—and feedback.
The Mindset Shift: Clarity Comes After Motion
Overthinking says, “I need clarity before I act.”
Real life says, “Clarity often comes because you acted.”
A message sent creates feedback. A question asked reveals what’s missing. A small experiment turns imagination into information.
When you accept this, you stop demanding certainty from your brain.
You start building it through movement.
The Tool You Can Use Anytime: The Honest Step Card
When you’re spiraling, you don’t need motivation.
You need structure.
Use this on paper or in your notes app. Keep it short. Keep it clean.
The carry version
FACTS → FEARS → STEP
That’s the whole tool.
If you forget everything else in this article, remember that sequence.
The full card
1) FACTS (What’s true right now?) Write 3–5 lines. No backstory. No interpretation. Just reality.
2) FEARS (What am I afraid will happen?) Name the fear plainly. Don’t argue with it. Don’t justify it. Just expose it.
3) STEP (What’s the next honest step I can do in 5 minutes?) One action. Small enough to do now. Honest enough to move the situation forward.
That’s it.
The tool works because it forces your mind to stop acting like a novelist and start acting like a leader.
The Productive Procrastination Trap
This matters: overthinkers can turn even a good tool into a new loop.
So here are the rules.
Facts are 3–5 lines, not a memoir.
Fears are named, not defended.
The step must be doable in 5 minutes, not “research for two hours” disguised as preparation.
If your “step” is something you can’t do today, it’s probably not a step.
It’s avoidance wearing productivity.
What Changed When Mara Used It
Mara tried the Honest Step Card.
Her facts were simple: she needed approval to proceed, the deadline was Friday, her boss hadn’t seen the updated plan.
Her fear was honest: she didn’t want to look unprepared. She didn’t want follow-up questions. She didn’t want friction.
Then she wrote her step: send the email with one clear ask.
So she added one line at the top:
“Can you approve this today, or tell me what needs revision so I can update it by tomorrow?”
Then she hit send.
Her boss replied ten minutes later: “Approved.”
Mara laughed—not because she became fearless, but because she saw the pattern.
The problem wasn’t the email. The problem was the loop.
Wala na, laglag na—her mind was already losing a battle that hadn’t even started.
Three Ways to Use This Tool This Week
You don’t need a dramatic crisis to use the Honest Step Card.
You need a moment where your mind starts circling.
1) When you’re delaying a difficult conversation
FACTS: “We’ve avoided this issue for two weeks.” FEARS: “They’ll take it personally.” STEP: “Send a message: ‘Can we talk for 15 minutes tomorrow? I want to clear something.’”
2) When you can’t choose between options
FACTS: “I have two good choices and limited time.” FEARS: “I’ll regret the one I don’t pick.” STEP: “Pick one for two weeks, then review with a clear metric.”
3) When you’re waiting for permission
FACTS: “I need a yes to proceed.” FEARS: “I’ll sound needy.” STEP: “Ask clearly: ‘Can you approve by 3 PM? If not, what’s the best time?’”
Notice the pattern.
The tool doesn’t remove fear.
It removes fog.
Try This Today
Pick one thing you’re currently overthinking.
A message you keep rewriting. A decision you keep revisiting. A conversation you keep rehearsing in your head.
Ask this on paper:
What’s the next honest step?
Then run the Honest Step Card.
FACTS → FEARS → STEP
Do the step before your mind negotiates you back into the loop.
The Overthinking Reset (60 seconds)
Use this when you feel your brain speeding up.
- What am I avoiding?
- What’s true right now?
- What fear is driving the loop?
- What’s the next honest step I can take in 5 minutes?
You don’t need a perfect plan.
You need one honest step forward.
If your team is stuck in meetings, misalignment, or slow decisions…
Let’s design one shift they can use immediately.
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