When I was a high school teacher, I said yes to everything.
I wasn’t just a teacher. I was a class adviser, a debate coach, a campus paper adviser, a yearbook adviser, a scout master, a regular emcee, and more. If someone needed help, I stepped in. If something needed to be done, I took it on.
Why? Because I didn’t know how to say no.
At first, it felt good to be needed. The school was winning awards. Students were excelling. I was making a difference.
But something else was happening.
I was exhausted.
I had so many responsibilities that I wasn’t excelling in all of them. And the worst part? Even my most important job—teaching—suffered. I was stretched so thin that my lessons weren’t as strong as they could have been. My students weren’t getting my best.
And at the end of the year, my evaluation reflected that.
That was my wake-up call. Doing everything wasn’t making me more effective. It was making me less effective.
So I had to learn—sometimes, saying no is the best way to serve.
If you struggle with saying no, here’s what I’ve learned:
↳ Saying yes to everything means saying no to excellence. When you take on too much, something suffers. Often, it’s the most important things.
↳ People respect those who set boundaries. I thought saying no would make me seem unhelpful. But in reality, people respect those who focus on what they do best.
↳ A polite no is better than a resentful yes. Instead of overcommitting and underperforming, it’s better to decline early and let someone else step up.
↳ You don’t have to explain. A simple, firm response is enough:
“I appreciate the opportunity, but I have other commitments.”
“I’d love to help, but I don’t have the time to do it well.”
“That sounds great, but I need to focus on my core responsibilities.”
It took me years to learn this, but once I did, everything changed. I focused on fewer things, but I did them exceptionally well. I had more energy, better results, and stronger impact.
If you’re overwhelmed, start today. Choose one thing that doesn’t serve you—and say no.
It’s not rejection. It’s focus. It’s leadership.
♻️ Repost if you believe saying no is a leadership skill, and follow Jef Menguin for more leadership insights.
