Choose Your Win

By now, you’ve probably colored your Nine Life Circles. You saw the page, felt the sting of honesty, and noticed which circles look strong, which ones look “okay,” and which ones have been quietly paying the price.

If you haven’t done that yet, go back to When Winning Doesn’t Feel Like Winning, download the Win in Life Starter, and color first. This next step works best when you can actually see your life on one page, not just think about it in your head.

Now we move to the real question. Where do you truly want to win?

Not the win that looks impressive. Not the win that earns applause. The win that feels right when you wake up on a random Tuesday and you know, in your body, you’re living the life you meant to live.

Read Your Circles Like a Map

When you look at your circles, don’t treat them like a report card. Treat them like a map. A map doesn’t judge you. It simply shows you where you are, and it gives you a chance to stop wandering.

So look again and ask yourself: where am I winning right now, where am I leaking, and what have I been pretending is “fine” because I didn’t want to deal with it?

Then shift the question from analysis to action. Which one circle, if you pursued it for the next 30 days, would make your life feel more yours?

Avoiding vs Pursuing

Avoiding keeps you safe. Pursuing makes you deliberate.

Avoiding looks responsible. You avoid conflict, discomfort, difficult conversations, disappointment, even quiet. You stay busy because busyness feels safe. But avoiding has a cost. It can keep life stable, yes, but it can also keep life small.

Pursuing means you want something enough to reorganize your life around it. You begin saying yes with intention and no with clarity. You stop letting shiny opportunities hijack your direction.

Pursuing requires protection.

Protect Your Choice From the Noise

Protection is not the opposite of pursuing. Protection is part of it.

Life is loud. The world throws shiny things at you. Other people’s urgency will always try to borrow your calendar. And your old habits will invite you back to the avoiding game the moment you get tired.

So when you choose one circle, you also choose what you will protect it from. That’s how a decision survives a real week.

And speaking of real weeks, let me show you how this played out in my life.

Fatherhood Changed My Scoreboard

I became a father in August 2014, and that one event changed the meaning of winning for me.

At the time, I could have stayed in Metro Manila. I could have kept my office in Antipolo. Most of my clients were there. And my work rhythm was built around meeting people in their offices, navigating traffic, arriving early, delivering on time.

But my wife worked at UPLB, and we decided we wanted an environment where our child, JC, could grow with nature. (And it is very peaceful here!)

Los Baños had no clients for me. It felt like countryside. Time moved slowly. And that slowness did something to me. It didn’t just relax me. It exposed me. It showed me how much of my identity had been tied to movement, urgency, and constant momentum.

That’s when I started asking a question I didn’t ask when life was fast: what am I really pursuing?

When “Bigger” Became Too Expensive

Then in 2015, I partnered with a group that made me the president of a consulting company.

It came with big promises. We could make millions each month. We could scale. We could build something impressive. I felt the pull because I love building, I love growth, and I love the idea of creating something that lasts.

But the cost showed up quickly.

I had no time for my family, and my son started thinking it was normal for his father to work after arriving home. That’s one of those moments that lands in your chest. You realize you’re not just choosing for yourself. You’re teaching your child what “normal” looks like.

Every win comes with a trade-off, and if you don’t choose the trade-off, life will choose it for you.

So I started letting go.

The Let-Go That Made Space

I let go of the chance to be the president of a big consulting company. I let go of the chase to become an international speaker. I let go of the dream of building an association of speakers. I let go of becoming an officer in a training association. I let go of the goal of being the “best motivational speaker in the Philippines.”

Those were shiny. Those were real. But they weren’t free.

They were asking me to build a life where my family got leftovers.

And I didn’t want to teach my son that kind of winning.

Once I let those go, I could finally choose what I wanted instead.

The Win I Chose Instead

When I looked at my circles, I realized I wanted a different kind of win.

I wanted to be a father and a husband, fully present. I wanted a slower life near UPLB. I wanted to become a backyard farmer and gardener. I wanted fewer clients, the ones I genuinely want to work with. I wanted to write, to become an author, and to create my own ideas and IPs instead of spending my best energy climbing ladders I didn’t even like.

That wasn’t the biggest-looking version of success, but it was the most honest version of winning for me.

And it didn’t happen in one dramatic moment. It happened through small choices, repeated, protected from noise, until they became a new life.

Now, let’s bring this back to you.

Your 30-Day Pursuit

I would like you to write your answers to these questions.

Which circle do you want to win in next, and what would winning look like there on a normal day? What do you need to protect it from, and what do you need to let go of to create space?

If you can’t answer that last question, that’s often the reason your circles don’t change. You’re trying to add without removing.

So let’s make it simple.

The Pursue / Let-Go Tool

Draw two columns on paper.

On the left, write “Pursue (Next 30 Days)” and name the one circle you’re choosing, plus what winning looks like in a sentence.

On the right, write “Let Go (To Make Space)” and list three things you will release for the next 30 days so your chosen circle has room to breathe.

Don’t make it permanent. Make it practical. Thirty days is long enough to feel a difference and short enough to be doable.

When you’re done, write this commitment line at the bottom of the page: “For the next 30 days, I will play to win in ______.”

Then read it again and notice what you feel. Relief, resistance, excitement, fear—any of those reactions are useful data. They’re telling you what matters.

If you try this, tell me what you chose. Tell me your circle, and tell me what you’re letting go of. I want to hear what you discovered when you stopped floating and started choosing.

If you already chose your one circle for the next 30 days, you’re not done. Now you need a way to keep seeing your life clearly, especially when the month gets noisy and you feel tempted to drift back to old defaults.

That’s why the next step is simple.