Asking for advice is one of the fastest ways to fix blind spots, speed up learning, and stop repeating the same mistakes in silence—because pride turns small problems into expensive ones. In this article, Jef Menguin shares how to ask for advice in a way that earns respect, invites better thinking, and protects relationships at work. Practice it, then pass it to your team so you build a culture where people learn faster and improve together.
Paolo had been with the company for five years. He wasn’t a rookie, but he wasn’t “senior” either. He was in that middle space where people expect you to deliver without being told, but you still don’t have enough authority to make big calls alone.
He was good at his job. His work was clean. His emails were clear. He didn’t miss deadlines.
But he had one problem he couldn’t name.
He felt invisible.
Not ignored in a dramatic way. Just… rarely included. Rarely consulted. Rarely chosen for the higher-stakes work.
And the worst part was he didn’t even know what to fix, because nobody told him he was doing anything wrong.
The moment he almost sent the “look what I did” message
One Tuesday night, Paolo finished a deck for a client pitch. It wasn’t just a deck. He had reorganized the narrative, simplified the numbers, and added a cleaner recommendation.
It was the kind of improvement that makes a team look sharp.
He stared at his draft email to his boss.
He wanted to write: “I redesigned the pitch. It’s better now.”
Then he deleted it.
He could already imagine how it might sound. Too proud. Too loud. Too eager for praise. In Filipino office culture, that fear is real. You don’t want to come off as mayabang. You don’t want to trigger someone’s ego.
So he sent a safer message.
“Hi, boss. Here’s the deck. Please see attached.”
That was it.
He went to sleep with that familiar feeling: proud of the work, unsure if anyone would notice.
Why bosses sometimes “miss” good work
A few days later, Paolo’s boss, Trina, called him into a quick check-in.
Trina wasn’t cold. She was busy.
Her calendar was packed. Her phone kept vibrating. She had the look of someone trying to protect too many priorities at once.
She started with a line Paolo didn’t expect: “Paolo, you do good work. But I don’t know what you’re thinking.”
He nodded, confused.
She continued, “I see outputs. I don’t see your judgment. And when I don’t see your judgment, I don’t know where to place you. So I keep you in the safe zone.”
That was the frustration behind the silence.
It wasn’t that Trina didn’t appreciate him.
It was that she couldn’t trust his decision-making yet—because she rarely saw it in action.
Paolo wasn’t invisible because he lacked talent.
He was invisible because his work arrived without a window into how he got there.
The shift that changed his visibility without changing his personality
That week, Paolo tried something different.
He didn’t announce his improvements. He didn’t sell his value. He didn’t write a long explanation of what he contributed.
He asked for advice.
He messaged Trina: “Boss, I tried a different flow for the pitch deck to make the recommendation clearer. If you were in my shoes, what would you improve in the story before we present?”
Trina replied faster than usual.
She gave feedback. She asked him why he chose certain slides. She pointed to one risk in the narrative. She told him what the VP tends to question.
Paolo noticed something small but important.
The conversation wasn’t about him. It was about the work. And because it was about the work, it didn’t feel awkward.
He wasn’t performing.
He was collaborating.
Why asking for advice is the safest form of visibility
When you ask for advice, you get three wins at once.
First, you surface your thinking without sounding like you’re claiming credit. You let your boss see your judgment, your choices, your awareness of tradeoffs.
Second, you give your boss a way to contribute. People support what they shape. When you invite their input, you’re not competing with their authority. You’re strengthening it.
Third, you make your work visible at the right time—while it’s still in motion. Not when it’s too late to improve, and not when your boss has already moved on to the next fire.
You can make a Visible Impact. Explore more if you want a clean way to be seen without becoming loud. Visibility that feels respectful, not performative.
A pause worth taking
Think about the last time you held back from sharing progress.
What were you protecting?
Your image? Your boss’s ego? Your fear of being judged? Your fear of sounding proud?
Now ask a different question.
What opportunities did you lose because you stayed silent?
Not credit in a shallow sense.
I mean direction, trust, and growth.
Because when your boss never sees your thinking, they also never get a reason to bet on you.
Replace “FYI” with “If you were in my shoes…”
Here’s a small habit that changes how you show up.
Instead of sending an update that only says, “Here’s the output,” add one line that invites advice.
Use this prompt:
“If you were in my shoes, what would you do next?”
Or:
“I’m leaning toward option A. What would you watch out for?”
Or:
“I made this change for clarity. What would you refine before we finalize?”
It’s a simple move, but it changes the energy.
You’re not asking for praise.
You’re asking for perspective.
And that’s why it’s safe.
Try it this week
Pick one piece of work you’re currently doing.
Before it’s finished, send a message that asks for advice on one decision you’re making.
Make it specific. Make it easy to answer.
Then watch what happens.
Your boss won’t just see your output.
They’ll start seeing you.
And when a boss starts seeing your judgment, your options expand.
If your team is stuck in meetings, misalignment, or slow decisions…
Let’s design one shift they can use immediately.
→ Shift Experiences
