Blame-first leadership kills trust fast because people hide mistakes, stop speaking up, and problems go underground. In this article, Jef Menguin shares the simple ownership move—say “my fault” first—to lower fear and raise learning when something goes wrong. Practice it and share it with your team so issues surface early, fixes happen faster, and trust grows under pressure.
The fastest way to lose trust is to protect yourself first.
You know the moment. Something goes wrong—a client complains, a deadline slips, a guest gets upset, a system breaks. And before anyone even understands what happened, someone asks the question that changes the room: “Who did this?”
That question feels normal. Practical. Even responsible. But it quietly teaches people one lesson: hide.
In Owner’s Shift, there’s a line that nails it: blame closes mouths, ownership opens doors. That’s why the fastest way to earn trust isn’t a speech. It’s a sentence—said early, said calmly, said without drama: “My fault.”
The briefing room where nobody spoke
There was a workplace where the daily briefing became a small daily fear festival. The leader would gather everyone, then start calling out mistakes like a roll call of shame. People stood there listening, waiting for the next name to drop.
Over time, the team learned a survival strategy. They stopped speaking. They stopped reporting issues early. They started patching problems quietly and hoping nothing exploded in public.
That’s how many teams end up looking “okay” on the surface while quietly rotting underneath. Problems don’t disappear. They just go underground.
The meeting where one sentence changed the room
What shifted the room wasn’t a new KPI or a new policy. It was one decision: stop leading with blame.
Instead of “Who’s at fault?” the leader began with “What happened?” and “What do we need to do next time?” He started recognizing what went well, then inviting people to own the next step. Little by little, the room got louder—in a good way.
People began speaking earlier. They raised concerns before they became disasters. They offered fixes instead of excuses, because they weren’t busy protecting themselves.
That’s the hidden magic: when fear goes down, learning goes up.
Why “my fault” works—even when it’s not fully your fault
Most people think saying “my fault” means absorbing all the blame. Parang ikaw na ang sinisi sa lahat. But that’s not what great ownership is.
Ownership is not self-flagellation. Ownership is simply refusing to hide. It’s saying, “I’m part of this, and I’m part of the solution.”
Even if you only own 10% of the situation, your 10% is enough to change the tone. It signals safety. It signals maturity. It signals, “We can solve this without throwing anyone under the bus.”
The trust-killer: protecting your image by sacrificing someone else
There’s another familiar scene. Something breaks, and the leader gets pressured. They want to look clean, so they point to a person—fast.
In that moment, trust doesn’t just drop. It collapses. Because everyone watching thinks, “If it happens to her, it can happen to me.”
After that, people stop taking initiative. They stop experimenting. They stop speaking up early. Wala na—laglag na. Not because they’re lazy, but because the environment taught them: visibility is danger.
Name the trap so you can catch it
Let’s call it what it is: the blame-first reflex.
It’s the instinct to protect your ego before you protect the team. It usually shows up when you’re stressed, when you’re embarrassed, when you’re being watched. And it’s tempting because it feels like “accountability,” when in reality, it’s just fear wearing a tie.
If you want a culture where people own results, you can’t build it with threats. You build it with safety—and safety starts with you going first.
A simple reframe you can practice today
Here’s the bridge: own your part first.
Not your teammate’s part. Not the vendor’s part. Not the universe’s part. Your part.
Try these lines the next time something goes wrong:
You can say, “I could’ve been clearer.” Or, “That’s on me—I didn’t catch it early.” Or, “We missed it, and I’ll take the first step to fix it.”
Then move immediately to action: “Here’s what I’ll do next.” That’s how “my fault” becomes leadership, not drama.
The 24-hour challenge
Within the next 24 hours, think of one situation that recently didn’t go well—something small is fine. Ask yourself one honest question: what part of this do I own?
Then send one message. Keep it clean. No defending, no explaining, no essays—just ownership and next step.
Because trust isn’t built by always being right.
Trust is built by being the first to go first.
If your team is stuck in meetings, misalignment, or slow decisions…
Let’s design one shift they can use immediately.
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