Victimhood at work doesn’t start as drama—it starts as a smart-sounding reason that keeps you safe, until it becomes your brand and limits your growth. In this article, Jef Menguin explains why blame feels familiar, how it spreads, and what it steals from your leadership. Apply the shift and share it with your managers so you build a culture that owns results instead of collecting excuses.
Have you ever met someone who always has a reason?
Not a crazy reason. A reasonable reason. And that’s why it spreads. It sounds smart. It sounds experienced. It sounds like “reality.”
Until one day, it isn’t just a reason anymore. It’s their brand.
We learned blame before we learned ownership
I get where most people are coming from.
In the Philippines—especially if you’re active on social media—you swim in blame every day. Somebody posts a problem, then the comments turn into a courtroom.
Government. Voters. “Diskarte culture.” “Tamad kasi.” “Corrupt kasi.” “Walang kwenta kasi.”
Finger-pointing is everywhere, so it becomes our default language. We rehearse it until it feels normal.
Look at education. Teachers get blamed for low reading comprehension. Then students get blamed for being lazy. Then parents get blamed for not guiding their kids. Then the whole system gets blamed for being broken.
Everyone has a point. Everyone has receipts.
And nothing moves.
This is why victimhood feels familiar. It’s the water we’re swimming in.
When Carlo’s “real talk” turned into a reputation
Carlo De Guzman was a senior specialist in a big operations team. He was competent. He moved fast. He also had a comment for everything.
In meetings, he didn’t shout. He didn’t fight. He just smiled and said things like, “Alam mo naman dito… matagal talaga.”
When a new project came in, someone asked, “Carlo, can you lead this?”
Carlo leaned back. “Sure. But heads up—approval will kill us. And Finance won’t cooperate. So don’t expect much.”
Everybody laughed. The joke landed.
But the joke stayed.
A month later, the project slipped. Carlo had explanations ready. He even had screenshots. People nodded because, yes, those blockers were real.
Then something quiet happened.
They stopped asking Carlo to lead anything important.
When Bea noticed the pattern—and refused to wear it
Bea Ramos worked in the same building, different floor, same kind of chaos. She handled vendor coordination, the kind of work where delays love to hide.
One morning, a vendor called, irritated.
“Ma’am Bea, we can’t deliver today. Your team changed the specs again.”
Bea felt her chest tighten. She wanted to say, “That wasn’t me.”
She almost did.
Then she paused and said, “Okay. Give me ten minutes. I’ll call you back with what we can still deliver today.”
She messaged her internal team.
“Guys, quick check. What changed? And what’s the minimum spec we can accept today so delivery happens?”
A teammate replied, “Bea, hindi namin kasalanan ‘to. Sales changed it.”
Bea typed back, “Noted. But we still need a delivery. What can we ship today?”
They shipped a partial order. They fixed the rest the next day.
Bea didn’t pretend the problem wasn’t real. She just refused to live inside it.
Where do you see this in your world?
Before we name anything, look at your own week.
What line do you keep saying when things go wrong? What sentence do you repeat so often it feels like truth?
And if you lead people, look at your team.
Who always has an explanation ready? Who can describe every blocker in detail, but rarely offers a move?
When that line gets spoken, does it help the work move… or does it train everyone to expect less?
What I learned after I caught myself
I used to think victimhood was loud.
I thought it looked like shouting, blaming, or refusing to work.
But the version that hurt me more was quiet. It sounded like maturity. It sounded like “I’m just being realistic.”
And because it sounded so reasonable, I didn’t notice when it started shaping my identity.
When I stayed there too long, I didn’t just feel stuck.
I started acting like a stuck person.
When your environment trains you to blame
This is the part we need to admit.
Many of us didn’t choose this mindset. We inherited it.
We grew up hearing adults blame the system, blame the leaders, blame the “bisyo ng mga tao,” blame the economy, blame the traffic, blame the weather, blame the cards we were dealt.
So when we enter the workplace, we bring that same reflex with us.
We don’t just point fingers at work. We’ve been practicing finger-pointing our whole lives.
But if you want to win—if you want to build a career, lead people, and create results—you can’t stay in that reflex.
You need a shift not only in thinking.
You need a shift in identity.
Stop narrating. Start steering.
This is the shift I offer you to practice:
Stop narrating. Start steering.
Narrating is when you keep telling the story of why things can’t work here. Steering is when you do what Bea did. You name the reality, then you move the result.
Narrating protects your ego. It proves you weren’t wrong.
Steering protects the outcome. It proves you can be counted on.
The Narrative Flip Card
When victimhood becomes a habit, you won’t fix it with motivation.
You fix it with a repeatable move you can use in the moment—then share with someone who needs it.
You can download The Narrative Flip Card.
Here’s the preview:
- The Line — What did I just say?
- The Story — What identity does that line build?
- The Move — What’s one step that protects the result?
Simple. Fast. Usable in a meeting, a chat, or a crisis moment.
One move in the next 24 hours
For the next day, don’t try to “be positive.”
Just catch your line.
Write down one victim line you say often, then flip it into a steering line.
- “Wala tayong magagawa.” → “What can we do today?”
- “Hindi ko kasalanan.” → “Okay. What’s the next move?”
- “Ganyan talaga dito.” → “What can we improve here?”
Then do one small action that matches the new line.
Because the real danger isn’t that work gets hard.
The real danger is when your excuses start introducing you.
Stop narrating. Start steering.
If your team is stuck in meetings, misalignment, or slow decisions…
Let’s design one shift they can use immediately.
→ Shift Experiences
